Every Tear

Have you ever cried so much that you got tired of crying? In 2001, I remember driving down the street saying, “God, I’m tired of crying. I had been crying night and day.” Sad, depressed, anxious, and crying all the time, was my new normal. But I cried alone, never in front of people. I was too strong for that! Insert a laugh! I cried and cried and cried. The psalmist said in Psalm 6:6 he “flooded his bed with tears and drenched his couch in weeping.” That was me!! My bed pillows were covered with tears. It seemed the tears would never stop, “my tears had been my food day and night.” (Psalm 42:3).

I would pray and cry and cry and pray. This was my routine. Anytime, I was alone I would just pray and cry. I don’t know at what point I became ashamed of my tears. I think I saw tears as a sign of weakness and I wanted the world to know I was far from weak. I was fearless and strong and courageous!! Insert another laugh here! Anything but! But that’s what I wanted the world to think about me. So don’t come for me, because I am strong. Throughout the day, I would present this strong hard shell, but then cry myself to sleep at night. But there is not one bit of shame in crying; Jesus{even}wept (John 11:35).   

And for years, I thought no one knew. No one knew my secret life. My teary filled couch, my flooded bed or my pillow case that wreaked of salty tears were all my secret. But you know who knew? Jesus, the lover of my soul. He has bottled up every tear that you and I have EVER cried. God’s got some BIG bottles!! Cause listen!! There were days that all I did was cry. 

God has promised us that those who sow in tears, shall reap with shouts of joy (Psalm 126:5). The Bible also says weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5)! It’s not a literal night; sometimes there is a season of tears. Oh, but when the morning comes!!! 

2020 has been that season of tears for many. Death, despair and destruction have wreaked havoc on many of our lives. I’ve seen the tears of families who’ve lost loved ones to cancer and COVID and violence and old age. I’ve seen the gun violence. The loss of over 30 children in Memphis, TN under the age of 18. I’ve seen the anguish of job loss, homes lost and evictions. And yet, I’m hopeful! Why?!? Because I read in Revelation 7:17... “and God will wipe EVERY TEAR from their eyes.” EVERY TEAR... regardless of why it was shed - EVERY TEAR... EVERY LAST ONE OF YOUR TEARS!! 

Can you imagine, God, Jehovah, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, The Alpha and Omega, The Beginning and The End, El-Shaddai,  bending down to wipe every one of your tears? Can you imagine the bottle that holds all your tears? He’s kept it near to Him and He knows each and EVERY TEAR you’ve cried and soon He’ll wipe each one away! 

God loves you! He’s crazy about you. Live in the Red today! You are loved and forgiven. Keep crying! You have a tear wiper! 

#Loved

#Forgiven

#CryingRealTears