Grieving but Grateful

 Grieving, but Grateful! 

In everything give thanks: this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

1 month and 20 years... 

Over one month ago on Wednesday, January 6, 2021, my aunt Brenda went home to be with God.

Twenty years ago on February 25, 2001, my mom went home to be with the Lord. 

20 years and 1 month... time seems to stand still after a death. Maybe it’s the shock, the unbelief, the total loss. Grief instantly takes its place. 

The agony of grief is that we shall never see our loved ones again, on this side. It’s hard to think you’ll never hear your loved one’s voice, see them smile or feel their hugs. Once you’ve experienced grief, you value life, experiences and memories so much more.

When my mom, Sandra, died 20 years ago, my auntie Brenda called and offered her home, her food and her love to me and my sister. And we took them willingly, with enthusiasm and never looked back. She was the funniest, realest person you’d ever want to meet. My friend Angela, called my Aunt Brenda, walking joy and I agree. 

When all the angels came to escort my auntie to her heavenly home on January 6, 2021. I can imagine, she burst into heaven with all of her spunk, grandeur, and festive creativity and asked “what took y’all so long?!?”  

Though my heart hurts, I’m filled with joy as well. I can’t tell you the number of memories that I have. Trips taken, meals eaten, holidays, and just plain ole love. So though I grieve, I’m so grateful and thankful for my auntie. She was life personified!! 

Even in my grief, I’m Grateful for:

1) My Faith and Brenda’s Faith... one thing I know about Brenda Wells is that she loved God. She never hesitated to talk about His goodness, His love or His kindness. My faith in God reassures me that weeping may endure for a night, but on the wings of morning, comes joy (Psalm 30:5). I also realize that death has lost its victory and the grave has lost its sting (1st Corinthians 15:55). Jesus conquered death on an old rugged cross years ago. I’m further encouraged because in that great getting up morning, the dead in Christ shall rise first and we shall all meet Him in the sky (1 Thessalonians 4:16). 

2) Memories ... Every time, I think of my aunt, I smile or laugh. Literally out loud! She was “walking joy”, loud, funny, and genuine. We traveled together, stayed together, cooked together, and just had good ole fun together. Her house was THE house. Everyone loved going to Auntie Brenda’s house. It was home! The best of my childhood memories were made at Auntie Brenda’s house - adult memories too. When we lose loved ones, I’m so glad that God leaves us with precious memories that sustain us.

3) Family and Friends - My family is crazy! Like really, I mean beside the definition of crazy, is a picture of my family. But I love them and I’m so blessed that I have them to lean on in times like these. They have been comfort and peace in the midst of the sadness and grief. I’m also glad that God sent kind friends who haven’t let me rest or grieve alone since my aunt’s death. They’ve called and checked on me, prayed for me, sent food and money and have just been there when I just needed to cry and vent. 

4) Thanksgiving - The word of God says in EVERYTHING give Thanks, that’s the will of God concerning you. I’m thankful. My aunt lived a full life. She saw all of her kids become successful. She had the chance to love on her grandkids. I believe in my heart, that she was ready to go home. She was saved, she knew Jesus, and she completed her course. Well done, thy good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of the Master (Matthew 25:23). 

I must admit, I’m sad that I can’t call my aunt and tell her all the things I have going on in my life and hear her say all the crazy things that made me laugh as soon as I picked up the phone. However, I’m tickled pink that every time I think of her, I laugh. I smile and I rest in the fact that she’s home again with my mom. 

I’m so grateful for Brenda and Sandra... For all the lessons they taught me, the love they gave me, the many times they embarrassed me in front of a boy I liked, the laugher and the fantastic childhood. I cherish their memories daily! 

We may never understand death, or life for that matter and sometimes we find it hard to comprehend God. But when we cannot understand God's ways, we can trust His heart. He loves us, He sent His son to die for us, He Will Not and Cannot Fail, He Will Provide and He will never leave us nor forsake us. 

If you’re grieving a loved one today, think about all that you gained just by knowing them. Linger in the memories, Smile often, Keep the Faith, and Live in the Red. You are loved and forgiven! 

#Grieving

#Grateful

#Loved

#Forgiven